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THE REBELROUSER

A CELEBRATION OF INDEPENDENT SPIRITS.
What NOT to Give a Rebel for Valentine’s Day
What NOT to Give a Rebel for Valentine’s Day

You can’t play it safe on Valentine’s Day. Instead, consider these alternatives to ordinary gift-giving. Just be sure to include a bottle of Rebel Yell. Because bourbon is love.

1. Chocolates? Come on.
Look, if a rebel wants something sweet, he’s going to add a mixer to his bourbon. Steer clear of the generic chocolates and send a Man Crate instead. Whether he’s into exotic meat jerky or hot sauce, these are gifts he can get excited about. There’s also a whiskey appreciation crate, so this is a no-brainer.

2. Flowers? So overrated.
So you hand over the bouquet and … do what with it, exactly? Flowers just sit there, slowly dying, but a bacon bouquet has purpose. Play up the buttery, slightly spicy flavor of Rebel Yell with 12 long-stemmed roses made of smokey, delicious bacon from Bacon Addicts. Because what rebel doesn’t love bacon?

3. Jewelry? Pick something more useful.
Although we are not opposed to a handcrafted skull ring, why not gift your SO with something he or she can use while the two of you hit the open road? A vintage-inspired motorcycle helmet or sturdy leather saddlebag will come in handy on your cross-country adventures.

4. A card? There are better ways to say it.
Anything a musician wrote is going to be a hundred times better than what’s on the inside of a greeting card. Find his or her favorite album on vinyl (bonus points if it’s an original pressing) and let the masters do the talking.

5. Stuffed animals? Try the real thing.
Every rebel needs a best friend, and sometimes that position is filled by a pal with four legs. Look into adopting a shelter or rescue animal, and pay close attention to the types that are often ignored: those that are older, have black fur, or are shy. Make a responsible choice to give a dog or cat a good home, and you’ll have a ride or die for life.